Two types of Johns- Johnlock
by Hannahmaezy
Summary: Sherlock deduces the two types of Johns who come home late at night, only to find that after he thought he knew everything there was to know about him, he found his third side.


Being a consulting detective and living with doctor John Watson are basically the same thing. You see, John is alwayse coming home with a story. he never tells me the story, but i figure it out anyway.

For example, some nights he comes home stinking of alcahol with a black eye or some other sign of distress. this ones easy. the alcahol indicates a night out with Lestrade. Judging by my his poor posture and the slurr in his words as he speaks, i can usually conclude that he had about on average 4 glasses of beer, or something of the likeness.

also judging by the edge of the napkin peeking out of his pocket i am able to conclude that he had met someone. he would never take an ordinary napkin home from a bar unless someone had written their number on it for further contact. now it could just be the number of an old friend, but it is more likely that it was given to him by a lady, as alcaholic beverages make you feel unaffected by consaquences, therefore he is very prone to approaching women while he is drunk. also in some cases the answer is more obvious as the writing is in pink. unless his old friends were prone to borrowing their wifes stationary than you can rule them out.

this then provides me with further information if john were to go out at night and not come home. if he has come home from the bar with a napkin recently i can conclude that he has been spending time with his new lady friend. god knows how many of them he has had by now.

the black eye is simple. judging by how often he visits that bar, i can assume that he is on a first name basis with many, if not all of its regular occupants. therefore ruling out them as the purportrator. unless if a new person were to visit the bar and become extremely drunk. now ive said before that acahol makes you forget all consequences, and if john were to be drunk also, i know that he can be particularly snarky, some would say he even takes on similar trates to me. two drunk idiots in a bar almost certinly results in a fight. and since the fight resulted in john getting injured, i can conclude that it was the other man throwing the first punch, therefore proving my snarky john theory. that is simply shown by the fact that john is a well trained soldier and would not have let the man get close enough to him to do any damage let alone leave a mark even in the drunk state he was in, if they were to do that it would have been unexpected on johns part.

so the story of his regular bar night wth lestrade is that they enter the bar and john orderes a beer. he then chats with lestrade, wathing the telly as he downs three more, take or leave one. after getting drunk he would go and chat up some ladies, his confident nature providing him with their numbers. he would then likely catch another man eyeing up the lady and confront him for it, leaving the man with no choice but to punch him. john would then start a fight in purely 'self defence' as he would put it, which would not last very long and result with the other man unconsious on the floor. it would then be about time for lestrade to pull john out of the bar, telling him that it was time to go, and calling a cab to take him back here. from there john would then stumble up the stairs after fumbling with the front door lock and collapse onto the couch interrupting any chain of thought which i had at the time, forcing me to deduce his story.

on the nights when he was with his lady friends, it was different. more personal almost, as if i was not meant to know this information. i still figured it out anyway of course. i can never resist.

there are two types of john that return from these trips. the first type returns later that night, but not too late as to suggest that he stayed long after dinner. he is tired and unhappy, not stopping to talk or even acknolodge me. he then proceeds to go into his bedroom and lock the door, which he does not realize is a clear indication of his activities inside that room.

the second type of john comes home in the morning, smug looking and with a so called 'spring in his step'. he says good morning, and then offers to make me tea. i ask him about his night and he just proceeds to smile and say 'ohh it was nothing'. really, hes making it so obvious its like he wants me to know every single detail ablout his sex life. he would then go into the bathroom and take a shower, presumably cold.

the story of johns night with his lady friends go one of two ways, either he arrives at her house, she finds him to be less attractive while sober but does not want to appear rude so invites him to stay for dinner after watching a bit of telly. after that, she sends him home stating that she had fun and letting him know that he is free to call her anytime. he never does. he gets the taxi home and ...

or, he arrives at her house and almost instatnly he gets 'laid', both of them falling asleep afterwards and him waking up in the morning to her cooking breakfast. afterwards he will exclaim that he must go home to get ready for work, and she does not oblidge but tells him to call her when he can. he does, later that day aswell, and spends another night.

you could say that this night was the same as john number one. she had clearly brushed him off and then he came home only to lock himself in his room. however, if you look past the simple facade, you can see there is much more reason behind johns actions than there usually is.


End file.
